I scan the home and farm;
I scan my bank account and investments.
I see my wife and children dressed in finest fashions;
I see my workers smiling when they greet me at the door.
I smell the company dinners;
I smell the wine in private company.
I greet my neighbors in their also pleasant homes;
I greet my enemies from the security of my iron gate.
I think how God has blessed me;
I think how much more blessing I desire.
My heart yearns not faintly with longing;
My soul longs for more years to enjoy this world.
Till all is stripped away through heart attack;
Till my economy collapses beneath the wait of my greed.
My protection is breached!
My borders are unprotected!!
A heavy heart toils to find God among the ruins of disaster;
A heavy burdened back labors to lift my eyes beyond the horizon.
My children, home, lands and pleasant company are gone;
My wife wishes that I were gone as well.
How can a life so right
become so wronged?
I wrestle with the dirt,
as though digging my own grave.
I wrestle with my friends,
as though wrestling with my God.
I wrestle with the devil,
and find myself wrestling with myself.
Where has my love gone?
The simple love of children laughing;
The simple joys of cattle calving.
Where has my hope gone?
The simple hope of heaven yet to come;
The simple security of forgiveness won.
Where has my faith gone?
The simple faith in the Lord unmoved;
The simple humility of trusting Truth.
The Lord reveals Himself amid the storm;
He shows me that all that I thought was norm
Was merely what I’d seen
Yet hidden beyond my wildest dreams
I had not known the Maker of the stars;
I had not known the Designer of all my million parts.
“Lord, let me simply walk with you,
and though my path is marked with thorns
Let me speak in simple truths
and behold you sitting on Your Throne!”
I lift my eyes to see my friends gather round,
I lift my ears to hear with joy the sound of laughter once again.
The Lord has settled me alive in this broken world;
and though the swirls of life seem unsettled …
A broken heart proves plenty an offering in the plate that passes by.
Now I can taste once more His Presence at the table with my enemies.
My story & my song. – Mert Hershberger, remembering Job, in honor of all my loved ones.
February 17, 2017.